Who Am I? (a brief autobio with existentialist musings)

I am a wanderer and a mountain climber…I do not like the plains, and it seems I cannot sit still for long. ~Zarathustra (Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Third Part, “The Wanderer”)

Welcome, fellow cyber-wanderers! Let me introduce myself to you: I am Peregrine – or at least, I wish to be.

Peregrine is for me what Zarathustra was for Nietzsche, what Socrates was for Plato, what Christ and the Buddha and a host of other ideals/idols are for people today. Sometimes these idols spring from real personalities; sometimes they are fabricated, wholly or partially, consciously or unconsciously, from the imagination of individuals or entire communities.

To re-name oneself, to re-make oneself, to become one’s avatar: what an enticing, liberating idea! To break free of identity chains – of nationality, gender, body, even species! – and soar untethered through thought-space with a global, cosmic perspective: what a boon! What a thrill!

I do think this is possible and desirable – to an extent. And yet, those very tethers of identity and particularity also ground us, holding us like sweet Terra’s gravitational pull, keeping us from hurtling, Sandra-Bullock-like, into an existential void of infinite possibilities. You may think you glide unbiased in clouds of cool objectivity, but look down! – and behold the flaming tiger beneath you.

We are all terribly, wonderfully, vitally biased.

And so, while I attempt to soar as Peregrine, I won’t deny my identities and biases, and I’ll mention them when I see fit. For now, let me say this: I am a graduate student of philosophy in the Bay Area of California, hoping to one day teach philosophy and continue writing about the deep questions of life. I am also a lover of imaginative or speculative fiction; I’ve written a fantasy adventure novel for young adults (presently unpublished), sci-fi short stories, and fantastical poetry – some of which I hope to share with you on this blog, in addition to my philosophical musings.

Finally, a word about the name “Peregrine.” Having studied and taught foreign languages in the U.S. and abroad, I take a special delight in etymology – the origins of words – and in
the multiple meanings that might hitchhike on a single word. On one hand, “Peregrine” evokes the swiftest animal on Earth: the peregrine falcon (its aerial dive has been clocked at 242 mph). For its excellence, its majesty, its Olympian perspective, I consider it a more-than-worthy alter-ego, an ideal “Patronus” or “daemon” (nods to J. K. Rowling and Philip Pullman).

On the other hand, the falcon itself is so-named because the Latin peregrinus means “traveler” or “wanderer.” This matches my love of traveling – I’ve lived in Mexico, Spain, and China – and it hearkens back to my favorite philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, who often referred to himself and any free spirit, philosopher, or knowledge-gatherer as a “wanderer” (the word in German is the same, just capitalized and said with an awesome accent 🙂 ). I identify strongly with the metaphor of the wanderer, tied closely to the “labyrinth-walker” who searches for ways of happiness and truth through the puzzling maze of existence, leaving behind a thread of silver reflections, cautious of the minotaurs called Ignorance and Akrasia (the Greek term for lack of discipline or willpower).

As the wise philosopher Gandalf the Grey 
once said, “Not all those who wander are lost.” Actually, I often do get lost in labyrinthine problems of the universe and everyday life, but it seems that the tiger I ride catches sight, occasionally, of that dazzling, elusive prey called Truth and Happiness, and (in rare, wondrous moments) gets close enough to touch their tails. Will it ever capture them? No, these sublime beings are not the kind you can catch for good – not the kind you’d even want to catch for good. For if you did, then what? Back to your dim room and your gray couch with ultimate truth and bliss in your belly? Back to Netflix, perhaps?

And so I say: Viva the Hunt!

~Peregrine